If anyone is struggling today, please know you are not alone. There are many like you, forcing cheer as the kids unwrap presents, husbands/in-laws cast quizzical glances, and church services evoke shame instead of joy. I'll be checking in on this site throughout the day in case anybody needs to unload or chat.
You are loved.
Last Edit: Dec 25, 2018 10:13:22 GMT -5 by Italiana
Thank you for your post Italiana! Its been a good few days but also intense with my ex partner being around all the time. We havent even spend that much time together when were officially a couple...The inlaws (who know all about the situation) just left and from tmrw he will be in his flat again and we are taking turns with the kids separately for the next week as I seriously need a break. All my codependency issues came up again and I raised my boundaries to not get lost into his life. I also came out to my parents who live in a different country..I was very scared but finally had the courage to tell them both separately yesterday and their reactions were 'ok'.. they wont be my biggest cheerleaders in this but at least my mum didnt put too much catholic guilt on me and my dad didnt asked too many questions... What a year!! Im glad I told them as I feel like a huge weight has been lifted before the new year.. Merry Christmas everyone!! love and light x
Post by want2bhappy on Dec 26, 2018 11:22:38 GMT -5
Thank you Italiana. It was a tough time. Our adult kids were home and everyone was at my dads (where I now live with my 12 year old son) for Christmas. We opened gifts and had a good time. I was trying to be relaxed and happy but I was very anxious. My daughter posted on social media pictures of us all and I’m sure my gf has seen them. The kids have texted me saying that it was a great Christmas.
I have so much guilt and anxiety now. Worried about breaking up the family again, worried about how my gf feels. It’s been 3 Christmas that she’s had to deal with this pain of knowing we’re all together and she and I can’t be. My h was pressuring me to either end our marriage or go all in and we put that off until after the holidays. Now hes telling me how great it was for our family.
Ugh today is harder than yesterday now that they are all gone and my gf isn’t talking much to me.
Yes, that kind of 'lobbying" by family is difficult, indeed. Remember, it is human nature to resist change, regardless of the circumstances. That goes for families as well. The status quo might stink, but it's familiar, yes? I hope the New Year brings clarity and the knowledge that the Divine loves you unconditionally.