I've been through a lot of breakups with men, and it's definitely harder this time because I'm also losing my best friend. And it's caused us to drag our toes a lot. I guess that's all I want to say for now.
Post by closeoftheday on May 14, 2018 10:32:49 GMT -5
Great article, thanks for posting the link!
"#2 Do NOT glorify what you had" rings especially true for me. There are ways I behaved and also behaviors I tolerated/allowed from my partner in my first lesbian relationship that were just awful! Prior to that, I was never in a rollercoaster/argumentative relationship, and hadn't before been with someone who was strongly codependent. There were many times when I looked at our relationship from a detached perspective and thought, this is not me at all, what am I doing?! Still, it took two years of major ups and downs to make the break. I know that when I foray into a new lesbian relationship, I will be the wiser for it, though, and intend to stay true to who I am the next time around!
Post by hidingmyheart on May 28, 2018 20:16:27 GMT -5
YES! This was SPOT ON. Admittedly, I am stuck on the blocking her on social media... I keep holding on because it's the only connection I have left (even though we don't "acknowledge" each other's posts) but I certainly can feel myself having set-backs that last days at a time sometimes, based upon what I see in her posts. I know this is not healthy for me. It's just so hard when you miss someone so much.
I'm still peeking at my ex's FB page even though I never "like" anything and have blocked her and her H from seeing anything I post. I took them out of my feed, but still go and look when I get curious. It's hard.
Thanks for the article. Good to know it happens to other people. I am separating from my husband after 30 yrs of marriage, after falling in love with a woman and now she only wants to be friends. I try to be her friend and could use some friends right now. But whenever I see her I can’t let go of hoping we will have sex again. She is my main support through this coming out process and we have grown very close emotionally which I love but I’m always hoping she will want me again. Our relationship is preventing me from seeking out lesbian support. I keep getting hurt over and over. I know I sound stupid. I think that thinking about loving her is More exciting than thinking about the destruction of my marriage and fear of doing it alone. I know I have written about this before but I just saw her again last night and we had a nice time but in the end it’s very painful.
Post by lavenderandroses on Dec 23, 2018 17:14:07 GMT -5
I would advise considering blocking her completely and putting some time and distance between you. I am finding that is the only way to begin to think about moving on when you still have feelings for someone. It is important to be able to show love and compassion to yourself.