I feel like I have the same old story but I guess it's mine so I'll tell it! Fell in love with good friend in town (10 yo daughter's best friend mom...)- felt unrequited for many months- sorry, therapy, 20 lb weight loss(bonus), lots of running. But in summer finally called her on it and turns out not unrequited so now deep into amazing affair. Never knew I was gay or bi before this. With husband 30 years (since age 18). Think I wasn't in love with husband which allowed me to fall in love with someone else. complicated- husband in therapy, learning a lot about himself, knows I'm feeling this but doesn't know it's someone in particular (or maybe he does but doesn't admit it or ask right now). There's never a good time to leave, right? My oldest son is applying to college, I"m a well know physician in a town of 25K, husband a doc in neighboring town. Don't really want to stay married, not afraid of being alone (don't think for a second my friend would leave her marriage now, nor would I want her to). How am I going to navigate this?! Getting therapy but would love to hear other's successful stories of leaving the marriage... 3 kids, ages 17, 15, 10.... GREAT KIDS
Mama doc, Good morning. It is a difficult struggle falling in love with a woman after never feeling that way before and being married to a man for so many years. The struggle is deciding what to do knowing you will hurt others. I left after a 20 year marriage. It has not been easy. Two years later exH is still in pain and not able to move on. Luckily we didn't have any children as this would have been more difficult. I have struggled about my decision to leave for her. I miss many things in my old life, but I have gained wonderful things being with her. Telling my family was easy...my work life has been the challenge. Seeing the shock on people's faces when they find out since I was married to a wonderful man is was in a happy marriage. Two years later most still don't know. I don't hide it, but I never really socialize with people I work with since I'm the boss, so I don't share my personal life with most. As difficult as this journey has been for me, the best part about this is how much I have learned about myself. I found a great T to help me along. I have been seeing her almost since this started and it has helped keep me sane. I am one of the lucky ones...my family has fully accepted my decision. Although they love and miss my exH, and the feel bad for him...they love me unconditionally and have accepted my gf with open arms. I pay close attention to how I feel these days since my last two years have been such a struggle. I had a good relationship with my exH, but I felt like something was missing but I didn't know what. I have those things with my gf now. Like you, I love my exH but I don't know if I was ever in love until now. I wasn't giving him the attention he deserved. i didn't feel it. I do now, I'm a different person with her. I didn't know I had it in me to be so affectionate. As much pain as I know I caused for him and myself in the decision I made to leave my marriage, it was a decision I had to make because the feelings for her were so strong. I knew I would always wonder 'what if?'. I didn't want to live that way. I am happy. I still miss somethings about my old life and my exH...I'm working on that. So far my decision has been right for me. I'm in a great relationship with a wonderful woman and I am happy. The best part is the things I am learning about myself.