Post by Shesmyheart on Sept 12, 2016 21:50:03 GMT -5
I feel like I need to apologize in advance for how stupid this may sound but I have no one to talk to about this. I have to get it out and re-visit it when I forget the absurdity that my life has become. It's strange, I used to talk to my MGF about almost all of this but lately I have found I am not able to. Today I am angry, it seems like the rules continue to shift and shape based on what her needs are. But then I have a moment of clarity, oh I can't be surprised, it seems to have always been about her needs hasn't it.
On the weekends when I am not available to text, communicate, etc....when I am with 'her' my GF, suddenly there is no contact with my MGF and after the weekend has passed, when my MGF calls on Monday morning to say hello, the bristle is so palpable that I have to wonder why she calls when she doesn't ask how I am or how my weekend was, but wtf does she want me to do? Oh wait, yes, that's it, she wants me to be lonely, to be alone in my life as a single parent, to be pining for her on a daily basis. For the last five years I have been bright and cheerful after her weekends and vacations with 'him'. I mean for reals, what the &%^$?
I told her I have no desire to waste a day while she recovers her senses, it seems silly to be mad at the fact that I spend time with another woman when she is not available because she is with her H, in her life, doing things that fill her time. I mean, wtf? Enough is enough...I told her to tell me what to do because I can't handle it anymore. The decision is that there is no contact after work hours, when she goes home. She says she can't stand the fact that I am not available and she doesn't want to share me with anyone. I guess the good news for her is she won't have to as she is successfully pushing me away.
Post by helpplease on Sept 13, 2016 10:12:34 GMT -5
AHHH yes... I hear you loud and clear Shesmyheart... Here we are, we wait for any little bit of scraps... and they are living the best of both lives... able to go off on lavish vacations with the H... able to hang out with us... I was in the same situation for a long time like you... nothing over the weekend b/c he is around.... then Monday morning bright n early text "hi, how are you?".... and we would chat.... she would ask me to come over for "help" with this or that but the second she found out her H was going to be home would call and cancel quickly..
It is so difficult being the "other woman" and that's exactly what we are... we love them with our whole heart... I am not a saint I admit it... but I'm a relatively good person.. I am married to a woman, we have our issues... I would put everything on hold to do what MGF needed from me... and she would not do the same... if H was suddenly in town the plans changed very quickly... speed of light you would say.. You can't help who you fall in love with... the heart is completely blind and sometimes just plain dumb.. leaves us open for incredible pain. I'm sorry it sounds like you're really hurting... We have to make a decision, either we stay and things pretty much stay the same or we leave and want more for our lives. only you can make this decision.. Good luck... Peace to you...
I've been there and got out.some women can deal with being someones spare time. This world loves things and uses people. More power to the woman who can handle this. I posted a Goodbye letter to my MGF. Search Rlatin posts. You sound just how I did. She was like a Drug to me.I do check posts every once in awhile. I like to give hope to the women going through this daily heartbreak. I'm grateful for my wife of 3 years. And the relationship I have now. The future generations and millenniums won't be like ours. GLBT couples can legally marry. We're not considered sick or twisted. Love yourself first ! Once you love you making relationship choices become a lot easier. Namaste
Stop holding on to someone who will never change. Four years later my Ex MGF is still married. Her two sons are in college now. But still with Husband. She's been with two different SGF since me. And it will always be Hubby at Home and ladies on the side. Same MGF Grasshopper? And it's not getting better but worse. I also dated other women when I was with her. She always got furious and jealous. Never understanding why I had an issue with H.Thanks Grasshopper. And free yourself from the Rollercoaster. You deserve someone who loves you full-time.
Thank you R for coming back here and sharing your life and your story and your happiness and love. It brings hope and solace. You never know who you are helping when it comes from a pure and organic place inside.
These stories remind me of poetry by Nayyirah Waheed. She's one of my new favorites:
Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.
you not wanting me was the beginning of me wanting myself
Last Edit: Sept 17, 2016 6:48:33 GMT -5 by louiemay