Post by Shesmyheart on Aug 25, 2016 20:56:17 GMT -5
I never want to end the sexual intimacy with my MGF, but the opportunities are far and few between, less in the last 6 weeks. The angst in between our time getting to be more than I can carry. I don't see my MGF out of my life she has been such a big part of it for quite some time, but I also can't imagine she is going to tell her h "oh and by the way I am going out with _____ to have drinks and dinner".
It comes down to what I am willing to live with and what I am not willing to live without......doesn't it always?
We tried no contact, neither of us can do it, neither of us want to. I am trying to figure out if we can be friends and how we would go about it....gosh, my heart aches thinking about it.
What you are talking about isn't friendship. It's keeping a relationship lingering so you don't have to grieve the end of it. Contact now between you two is just the continuation of the affair.
I think it's valid and ligit for you to feel this way given the length and the intensity of your relationship. It's okay for you to hang it all out there with the rawness and loss and grief that you feel right now. But start telling yourself the truth of what you are really doing. In fact, start throwing the truth around everywhere and see what happens. Where you end up and where you go from here. I hope you have friends that will support you and love you despite whatever choices you've made or are making. I hope you are sharing your life with them, all the good, bad and ugly. In fact, if you were your own friend and could look at this objectively, what would you tell yourself to do.
There is no telling what kind of relationship you will end up having with this woman. You could take some space and then perhaps have a friendship of some sort. You will have to walk through this thing and decide how it feels to have contact with her and what it really is and what the benefits of that contact are for you. How does it make you feel to talk or contact her? Does it hurt? Does it feel peaceful? Do you have romantic feelings for her still? Hurt feelings? Whatever. Those are the questions you will have to ask yourself. Life is too short to have fake friendships and fake relationships where you aren't honest and giving yourself wholly. It's not satisfying and it ends up meaning very little.
Take good care. I know this is so hard. Treat yourself right. Honor yourself with someone who values you, doesn't want to keep you a secret, and receives what you want to give to them in a honest and truthful way. And gives it right back to you. Give that to yourself first. If you don't, no one else will.
Last Edit: Aug 26, 2016 5:55:37 GMT -5 by louiemay