Me and my ex gf (who is now married) have kept in touch throughout the years but there's one thing I don't understand. Every now and then she will reach out to me but will quickly pull away. One week she acts like she wants to be with me and the following week she will act like she wants nothing to do with me. Those days I can barely get 2 words out of her! Sometimes she will even ignore me and pop back up months later and act like nothing happened. It's painful to deal with and she refuses to talk about her feelings. Part of me wants to hold on and the other part doesn't. What is with this hot and cold behavior? Why does she keep coming back into my life if she doesn't want to stay?
That is so so super frustrating!!! and, hurtful !! Sorry you are going thru this. Tbh, you have to ask your gf cause what I say below is, of course, all speculation
- my xGF and I have circled back to each other when our lives have put us into an emotional upset.. not every lil thing, but when we are at a certain place (dunno how well I can describe that even to myself!, but it's what I have observed. Dunno if she would agree)
- you XGF may be afraid of being around too long; afraid of getting too close emotionally and connecting again
- she may be afraid that her partner finds out
It might help if you take another, deeper look and decide what you want from the relationship, even in this distant/awkward state, and go about creating that for yourself. Finding yourself in a constant state of waiting isn't too healthy and if your emotions are taking the roller coaster ride with her, closure and moving foward are not going to happen. It has taken a very long time for me, but I feel I am no longer waiting and now hearing from xGF is about, hey hows life going.
This is hard, especially if your emotions are still involved. be good to yourself