Post by Hidden love on Oct 25, 2014 9:40:49 GMT -5
Wow.... That brought tears to my eyes, and possibly because I am feeling the same way right now and your letter sounds like exactly what I could write to my MGF if I were to call it off. But for now I will keep hanging on because the little bits of time I have with her make me feel so wonderful that I just keep holding onto hope that some day things will change, even though I know that is a little foolish. Anyway, thanks for sharing your letter. I hope all is well.
Ladies can I ask you a question? You have married girlfriends, are you married yourselves? Have you always known? Do you think someone who figures themselves out late (41) is ridiculous? I'm married. I fell in love probably twice with the same person 13 years apart. Nothing happened other than me flirting and then telling her how I felt - no expectation of anything happening because she is in a committed relationship, but after flirting with her ( I don't think she was flirting back just being kind) and then stopping when she told me she didn't think she had an affair in her I stopped, I didn't want to hurt her, my life is messy. I kept trying to say sorry, I wanted to talk to her, I felt like I was in a cement mixer. When I did tell her she was ok, not great, I suppose its a lot to lay on someone, but she did know she is the cleverest person I know. I then told my husband I tried to be as honest as I could about myself not her, until he threatened to take the boys and move out so then I went quiet. We don't really talk now- I feel like something died and I ed it. The sparkle has gone out of her eyes and I feel like she just about tolerates me now. I think what I'm trying to say is, I spent half my life half knowing, now I know I can't unknow. But if she thinks I am ridiculous and she was there while I was figuring it out - will everyone? If they will then I would be making three people unhappy just to get Polonius to be quiet! I have no other gay friends to talk to - how do Lesbians see women like me who half knew but not really. I'm crying now! Am I too late? should I just stay where I am for the sake of my family. I feel like I want to jump but I have no-one to catch me. I don't want to lead a double life I just want to feel connected, honest but if I am honest with myself and end up alone because everyone that matters thinks I am ridiculous - I will be no better off and my children will be worse off. I feel like I am being false to many - scared to be true but feeling ill and very alone. I'd like you to be honest, how do life long lesbians see people like me? hoping someone will answer - hanging on by a thread!
I was the married girlfriend for a while. It's painful for her too. She wants to move forward with her life and live the life she knows she wants and to be truthful to herself but she doesn't have the strength to do it, at least not now. I was dating someone for a year while I was still married, she was mad at me for not starting the divorce and eventually broke up with me. I loved her a lot but not enough to change up my whole world. After we split, I finally decided that I need to get the divorce for me, that's what I did. I have been divorced for 2 years, am 6 months into a relationship with a beautiful woman, who is everything I ever wanted. I hope you find someone that is available to be your partner because at the end of the day, my first girlfriend deserved that and so do you.
I know this post is a couple years old but I was just looking through old posts that stood out to me and this one really caught my eye. It seriously could have been written to me by my ex gf. I think she said these exact words to me when she finally let go and walked away. I hate that, as the married woman, it's not easier to walk away. I so wish I had the strength to live my life the way I know it needs to be lived but it's been the hardest road I have ever traveled. I lost the love of my life, someone who I know would have made me happy for the rest of my life and I will forever regret not being strong enough to take the leap.......Here I am still married and wasting life (mine and his) being only partially happy. ugggggh
I posted this letter three years ago. I just suggested this site to a friend. She's leaving a long term marriage and finally coming to terms with her attraction to women. It's wild the difference three years can make. I still tear up reading this letter. I know I will always love her. I just couldn't take the daily heartbreak. My Married girlfriend is still married. And has another girlfriend. She's a beautiful woman. There will always be women interested in her. I can't help wondering what would of happened if she just jumped. We could of had it all. Best wishes to all you ladies. Being brave is never easy. But always worth it.
Post by tryingtofindme on Dec 16, 2015 13:34:27 GMT -5
Reading these stories from both sides is heartbreaking all the way around. I hope all of us can find our peace and happiness that we all deserve. Our kids deserve to have a happy parents too. As women we hold on so much for them, but taking the jump could very well be the best thing for them too. I know it's not easy, that's for sure. Rlatin, I hope you have found happiness.
Yes I'm currently married to a beautiful woman for the last 3 years. We have 4 grandkids together. No more Rollercoaster ride or broken promises. I hear about my MGF from friends. She's with another LLL and still married to H. Better her than me. What a difference 4 years can make